|
 Ask the PowerPhrase®
Expert
Here’s our last installment of the column
by Meryl Runion, a communications expert who wrote
the book, PowerPhrases! The Perfect Words to Say
It Right and Get the Results You Want.
I have worked at my current job for a little
more than six years and in that time I have managed
to move up in the company. I am always hearing
praises from my boss, and other people are always
telling me that the owner goes on and on about how
wonderfully I’m doing. My boss is also my best
friend.
To make a long story short, I am doing all of
the things someone else in my position would do, but
I still have not been given the job title officially.
I also am still punching a time clock instead of
being on salary, and this is really starting to
bother me.
I recently heard from my boss that the owner
said to give me a raise. To my surprise, it was much
lower than I had anticipated. I do not consider
myself unappreciative, but I thought at least I would
go on salary. How in the world can I talk to my boss
without ruining our friendship?
The PowerPhrase Expert: I always
recommend that managers steer away from friendships
with subordinates, and here I see an unusual example
of why that works best. It is hard to be objective
when you have a personal relationship with someone
you supervise. My guess is that your disappointments
are affecting your friendship now as well.
I suggest the same thing that I would if you
weren’t best friends with your boss. Document
all the ways you are doing your job and the salary
you should make according to your performance. Then,
clearly and specifically ask for what you want and
believe you deserve. Say, “These are the
services I have been performing. This is the range of
salary that my research shows are standard for this
work. My research shows me that being on salary is
standard for this position; therefore, I am
requesting a raise to $x and to go on salary. I am
aware there is concern that this might bring up the
question of favoritism in a few minds. Would you be
comfortable with me discussing the matter with the
owner and asking for a specific recommendation from
him/her?”
You sound like you have not been saying what you
mean to avoid damaging your relationship with your
friend/boss. In actuality, this ultimately damages
the relationship. If the friendship doesn’t
have room for you to express your needs, it
isn’t much of a friendship. So take a
risk!
I recently ran across a termination letter that
my boss wrote for me. I know that when it comes to
being on time, I really struggle; I’m usually
10 to 15 minutes late. I was sick for four days, and
I guess this made her decision a lot
easier.
I know things about my supervisor that probably
could get her fired, but I don’t want to play
that game. She is not a very good role model for a
boss. She contradicts herself when she wants me to be
on time but seems to make her own hours and never
lets us know when she will be in or not. We also have
a supervisor over all of us including her. What
should I do about my termination
letter?
The PowerPhrase Expert: Are you
completely certain that you want your job on its
terms? Difficulty getting to work on time is usually
a reflection of weak interest and
commitment.
If you do want your job, you need to speak
strongly to what you are willing to do. You might
say, “I believe that my tardiness has become a
problem. If it has, please let me know, and I will
take steps to make sure that I am here on time in the
future. I would like to discuss that issue and
anything else that may be affecting my performance
with you, as well as things I can do to be a more
effective employee.”
If you want the job, but there are some things
that haven’t been working for you and you are
willing to take a risk, you might say, “I have
become aware that my tardiness is unacceptable. I
believe my tardiness reflects my discomfort with some
of our work practices. I want to talk with you about
how we can work together in a way that works well for
us both. Are you open to that?”
If you are terminated before you get to address
the situation, I suggest that you explore options to
continue with the company. It sounds like the
termination was a surprise, and that’s never
the way it should be. Although I usually do not
suggest arguing with termination, if you
weren’t given clear performance expectations as
well as consequences of continued poor performance,
it’s worth a try!
MERYL RUNION began her career by designing
effectiveness measures for use by police departments
all across the country. Runion has a master’s
degree in the science of creative intelligence and is
certified as a stress management expert. She is known
as a speaker and author across the United States,
Canada, the United Kingdom, and Australia. You may
contact her via e-mail at ms.meryl@att.net .
|
