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Peter Block Column
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Dear Mom and Dad,
It has been a while since we interfaced. I
tried to call you the other night, but your answering
machine said you were eager to receive my call, but were
busy serving other callers. I was too impatient to wait, so
I decided to contact you online as the machine
My new job at Cleanstreets.com is going well. I
just received a bonus for staying, even though I have only
been here for two weeks. I guess they have a small
retention problem. The work is exciting. It turns out that
I was on a teleconference with cousin John the other day.
It was a good meeting, though the speech of John and others
in the meeting seemed a little off and disjointed. The
voice seemed to arrive slightly after his lips moved. Is he
ok? His movements seemed a little jerky.
The big news is about my personal life. I have met a
wonderful woman on the Internet. We have been dating over
the Internet for a week now and have decided to get
married. The wedding will be online next Wednesday. We want
to have a global wedding and have sent invitations to
65,000 people, in addition to immediate friends and family.
We are renting targeted mailing lists of people around the
world who share our demographics of age (born after 1969),
buying patterns, music and book preferences and favorite
As to wedding gifts, we want nothing for the home,
since we have not decided whether we will be living
together. Instead, we have registered our gift preferences
with Stock.com, a brokerage firm specializing in instant
returns. We are hoping to leverage the love and generosity
of our friends into long-term financial security.
After the wedding, we are planning a virtual
honeymoon. Since we are both too busy to leave town, we
have reserved a Website for a day and are going to
cyber-travel to either a sweat lodge on the floor of Death
Valley or a base camp on the south ridge of Mount Everest.
Aren’t the choices open to young people these days
You will be happy to know that we have decided to
have two children. Our first child will be a girl,
5’9” tall, with delicate features, dark brown
hair, SAT scores in the 1400’s and skilled in the
martial arts. We plan to have her delivered when she is
seven years old. By then we will have the maturity and time
for her, plus we want to really get to know her before she
goes to college.
Our second child will undoubtedly be a boy, but we
plan to wait a while, although we are leaning toward him
having a special aptitude for science and technology.
I guess you are wondering about who the lucky woman is?
Well her name is Zooeta. We have not actually met yet, but
have not yet felt the need. We have exchanged digital
pictures and she looks amazingly like a youthful Elizabeth
Taylor. I am not sure where she lives, she has been
charmingly coy about that. Her area code is 900, do either
of you know where that is?
Not much else is new. My health is good. I stay in
shape by watching an exercise video to start the day and
then power walking to my office downstairs. I have
converted the dining and living room into a Technical
Information Center. The signature piece of furniture is a
70” high definition, liquid crystal, slim-line
television screen. It is fully supported by the usual array
of computers and electronics all within easy reach of my
custom molded Eon ergonomic high-performance work and sleep
chair, the details of which I won’t bore you
I have to run now. My dinner of pine nut encrusted
Upper Yellow River Salmon, flavored with a touch of
cilantro, finished with a dollop of Chilean demi-glaze,
presented over a bed of saffron risotto is being delivered
in three minutes. I plan to accompany the meal with a 1996
St. Jean Michel cabernet sauvignon. Where is it written
that you have to have white wine with fish? Really!
I almost forgot to ask:How are you both doing? Is
the trailer park turning out to be all you expected it to
be? I have been told that after a while you get used to the
highway noise. I think your decision to simplify your lives
is really cool.
Give me a ring when you get a chance. The best time
to reach me is between 3:30 and 4:00 a.m. on Tuesdays and
Wednesdays when the call volume is typically light.
July 2000 News for a