ASQ - Team and Workplace Excellence Forum

Online Edition - July 2000
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Issue Highlight - WWW
- Friends of mine showed me a letter recently that I thought you might find interesting. It might be a sign of things to come in this New Economy:

In This Issue...
Is Anyone Out There?
Increasing A Good Idea's Profitability
Internal Quality Audits
Every Summit Beckons A Conqueror
Finding Your Way Home In The Workplace

Features...
Peter Block Column
Views for a Change

Pageturners
Heard on the Street
Sites Unseen

WWW

Dear Mom and Dad,

  It has been a while since we interfaced. I tried to call you the other night, but your answering machine said you were eager to receive my call, but were busy serving other callers. I was too impatient to wait, so I decided to contact you online as the machine suggested.
  
  My new job at Cleanstreets.com is going well. I just received a bonus for staying, even though I have only been here for two weeks. I guess they have a small retention problem. The work is exciting. It turns out that I was on a teleconference with cousin John the other day. It was a good meeting, though the speech of John and others in the meeting seemed a little off and disjointed. The voice seemed to arrive slightly after his lips moved. Is he ok? His movements seemed a little jerky.

  The big news is about my personal life. I have met a wonderful woman on the Internet. We have been dating over the Internet for a week now and have decided to get married. The wedding will be online next Wednesday. We want to have a global wedding and have sent invitations to 65,000 people, in addition to immediate friends and family. We are renting targeted mailing lists of people around the world who share our demographics of age (born after 1969), buying patterns, music and book preferences and favorite travel destinations.

  As to wedding gifts, we want nothing for the home, since we have not decided whether we will be living together. Instead, we have registered our gift preferences with Stock.com, a brokerage firm specializing in instant returns. We are hoping to leverage the love and generosity of our friends into long-term financial security.

  After the wedding, we are planning a virtual honeymoon. Since we are both too busy to leave town, we have reserved a Website for a day and are going to cyber-travel to either a sweat lodge on the floor of Death Valley or a base camp on the south ridge of Mount Everest. Aren’t the choices open to young people these days amazing?

  You will be happy to know that we have decided to have two children. Our first child will be a girl, 5’9” tall, with delicate features, dark brown hair, SAT scores in the 1400’s and skilled in the martial arts. We plan to have her delivered when she is seven years old. By then we will have the maturity and time for her, plus we want to really get to know her before she goes to college.

  Our second child will undoubtedly be a boy, but we plan to wait a while, although we are leaning toward him having a special aptitude for science and technology.
I guess you are wondering about who the lucky woman is? Well her name is Zooeta. We have not actually met yet, but have not yet felt the need. We have exchanged digital pictures and she looks amazingly like a youthful Elizabeth Taylor. I am not sure where she lives, she has been charmingly coy about that. Her area code is 900, do either of you know where that is?

  Not much else is new. My health is good. I stay in shape by watching an exercise video to start the day and then power walking to my office downstairs. I have converted the dining and living room into a Technical Information Center. The signature piece of furniture is a 70” high definition, liquid crystal, slim-line television screen. It is fully supported by the usual array of computers and electronics all within easy reach of my custom molded Eon ergonomic high-performance work and sleep chair, the details of which I won’t bore you with.

  I have to run now. My dinner of pine nut encrusted Upper Yellow River Salmon, flavored with a touch of cilantro, finished with a dollop of Chilean demi-glaze, presented over a bed of saffron risotto is being delivered in three minutes. I plan to accompany the meal with a 1996 St. Jean Michel cabernet sauvignon. Where is it written that you have to have white wine with fish? Really!

  I almost forgot to ask:How are you both doing? Is the trailer park turning out to be all you expected it to be? I have been told that after a while you get used to the highway noise. I think your decision to simplify your lives is really cool.

  Give me a ring when you get a chance. The best time to reach me is between 3:30 and 4:00 a.m. on Tuesdays and Wednesdays when the call volume is typically light.

  Yours truly,

     Storm

 

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